- i am learning to love Max staying up until 11pm wanting me to talk to him in bed while his sister is trying to sleep beside me- one day, he won't want to talk to me
- i am learning to love Max become a restless sleeper overnight. Waking me with kicks as he stretches his body, waking me with his arm swinging in my face, waking me with his sweaty head nestled on my shoulder, waking me because he dropped his soothers on the floor and wanting me to get them (in the middle of the night!)- one day he won't want to be there
- i love it when he yells, "mommy! mommy! mommy!" when he's ready to wake up from night sleep and naps - one day, i won't be the first person he wants to see
- i love when we consult each other and negotiate on meals- trying to make it a lesson to always TRY even though he doesn't have to finish his food, the importance of eating veggies and fruit first, and to incorporate protein and carbs into his diet. that candy is also ok, in moderation (5 skittles is a big deal here!)
- i love it when he says, "mommy, i love you for my whole life" or "mommy you're my best friend" or "mommy, i love you" - randomly and often
- i love it when he asks me if saying 'bad words' are ok. he asks, "mommy, can i say dumb?" "...can i say butt?" "....can I say fuck?" (lol) over and over again. at this point in our relationship, i don't get mad about it, but I do present it as something I like or dont like and the rationale why it's not a 'good word' in my books.
- i love our special 1:1 time in the evening when Mikkel goes to sleep. sure I'm giving myself ME TIME for a couple of hours a night, but my last 45 minutes are spent with him reading, or colouring, or playing imaginary Avengers scenes
- i love that we shower together everyday and i get to expose and teach him what real women look like. Remind him of his belly button, how we're connected, and where he used to live
- i love how he's just an amazing fruit eater- i often have to tell him to take it easy
- i love how he loves me
- I'm learning to love how Mikkel wakes up at the same time of night (like clockwork) when Max and I are in the room. We're better at being quiet when going to bed, but she just knows we're there and wants to join us
- i love how Mikkel always needs to touch me when she's asleep. There's always some part of her that is touching me (maybe even a foot) and if i lay her far from me, she makes her way to me within minutes, even when sleepy or sleeping
- I'm learning to love that she's using me as a human pacifier to help her get back to sleep. even though i desperately need a solid number of consecutive hours, I'm also just shocked that she's 8 months old and we will be needing a new normal once i head back to work mid september
- i love how she looks at me while on the carrier when there is something or someone she is uncertain of - she trusts me wholeheartedly
- i love meeting her eyes when I'm distracted by something. her eyes tell me she wants me to take it easy, slow down and pay attention- she will never be this young again
- i love how she purposefully (maybe??!) caresses my face - which i think she's trying to say "hey what we're doing is fun. check it out! i love our time together" when we're sitting beside each other or facing each other
- i love how she sleeps so soundly on my chest, while on the carrier- even though she's HEAVY!
- i love how she can 'tell' me she wants the breast by rubbing her face on my bosom/cleavage, pulling at my shirt, or literally tilting forward pecking at my chest (lol!)
- i love that she's just such a happy baby, and her grumpiness is easily deciphered
- i love how she loves me
I'm trying to write something about mother's day here, but like the story of my life since mat leave; my thoughts are foggy and the processing of words and ideas are slower. what i do know is that I've never loved any human being more than I do these two. i am humbled by them and the handwork it takes to raise them.
thank you to our mom's
thank you to my friends for being a presence in our lives, it truly takes a village to raise children
thank you to friends with kids who mother one way, and not judge others for mothering a different way
thank you too, to friends who live all over the world some whom I've never even met, but give words of encouragement and inspiration whether warranted or not.
happy mother's day!!