Baby #2: 13th to the 17th Week!

^^ 13 weeks and feeling more curvy ^^

13-15w6d:

• i'm finally back to my old energy levels! i'm ready to crash at 930pm and asleep within a minute, and for some reason, finding myself awake at 650am every.single.day.i'm.off ew
• had to re-do my NIPT test because the first sample came back with an error (2-4% category)
• met with the midwives and have officially registered into a hospital! I also got to hear the baby's heartbeat with a doppler- registering at 160bpm. I forgot what this sounded like, or at least, having the midwives visit in the comforts of your own home makes you relax so much more and really soak in moments like this. MY LAST 13 weeks doppler ever (as in no more babies after this one)
• teenager acne! ack. fighting hormones is a futile battle!
• food is tasting pretty good these days and i've been eating like shit. bad news though, most things I'm putting in my mouth aren't seasoned enough so i'm adding salt to a lot of things- which can't be great for my blood pressure now or in the future. however, like a lot of people out there, I still do it even though i know it's bad for me
• there's a localized spot on my left pelvic area that's bothering me if I press on it, maybe hormone related? I'm finding myself consciously repositioning a lot at night to get off the spot...which increases my empathy for bed bound patients in the hospital, so I've become more vigilant with pressure points and getting off of it
• speaking of position, I've been finding it easy to sleep on my right side lately but this is a no-no in the latter part of pregnancy so I'm trying not to enjoy it so much. I've been told it was "ok" unless you feel symptomatic but I can't help think that some mild mild cramping I get when I sleep on my right side is psychosomatic...symptomatic?? hmm..
• happy hormones are in full swing in T2! I haven't felt any irritability with my husband and even more relaxed with tone and snark. I just seem to be able to let it go these days, my husband thanks you Oxytocin! 
• WE HAVE OUR BABY NAMES!! but we're going to keep it a secret :op
• my breasts feel and look pretty full
• at 14 weeks, I'm finally wearing maternity clothing full time. it feels good and I love that i have a bump so early in the pregnancy!
• A&W Bacon and Eggers taste really, really really good....i can eat this every day if i would let myself
• I've been pretty bad and guilt ridden about my lack of eating healthy full time (heck even part time). I need some caffeine so i'm buying decaf mocha's and hot chocolates (negligible but caffeine levels still exists)- with shift work, some days it's just necessary. I've also been bad about soda and am enjoying Sprite (no caffeine, ?not as bad for you, not 7up). I'm not buying cans of this stuff or anything, and this is really just a substitute for Coke (high caffeine, everyone knows it's bad for you), but if it came as an option, I actually have to weigh the options based on what I've eaten for the day. I've also been eating feta, hot dogs, deli meats, chips, bacon...not excessively but y'know...
• really enjoying Max lately, and not letting the guilt of enforcing a loss on him with #2 sink in and affect my overall mental health with this pregnancy. i haven't exactly felt a strong connection with this baby yet...which is like what I felt with #1, and totally normal, but i'm totally loving being pregnant (and having an easy pregnancy) *knock on wood*

16w-17w

^^ 17 weeks ^^

• The NIPT test study assistant gave us a call at 16 weeks to tell us that we were cleared for neural tube defects and the trisomies
• so far I've slowly started telling people that i was pregnant but only if they've asked (and so far no one at work has asked because they're really politically correct and scrubs mask everything!).  i don't know why I'm just not blurting it out to any one and everyone. maybe I'm having some ego issues about my physical capabilities and want to be known that pregnancy doesn't limit capacity; that I'm strong mentally and physically and keep up with work (I also hold people to that bar and get annoyed when people don't meet the demands- and they're not even pregnant). BUT and a big huge BUT , I'm also in the fck it stage because I'm not going to play a hero especially when it comes to the viability of the baby and I'm not going to push myself when i should be taking it easy. I'm not going to expose myself to cytotoxics and whatever infectious diseases because of this inner 'battle,' y'know? EGO.
• some slight insomnia is happening right now at 17 weeks (improved from before), and my left hip is still bothering me
• we've started to introduce Max to the baby by its name. i want this baby to be of absolute no surprise, and i want him to become familiar with the name and being called Kuya (respect title for older boys in Tagalog). hopefully he has an easy transition once it arrives. 
• way back before we were pregnant, my friend gave us this book called I Used to be the Baby by Robin Ballard. the story is very simple and there are activities Max can relate to. I like the last page because it's how I'm feeling right now, guilt and all
• i bought my first baby item! ....a picture frame to hold both their pictures in! lol
• at 17 weeks, I'm having some brief panic attacks about being pregnant...am I still pregnant? because aside from a not so fast growing belly, i don't feel pregnant! I'm definitely still checking the post-void wipe for blood.
• my complexion is thankfully somewhat improving. knowing the gender, hindsight has been 20/20 
• I had an Exorcist moment when it felt like someone was drawing vertical lines inside my belly...someone as in baby! My midwife says it was all perfectly normal. Per her doppler, baby is moving like crazy with a heart rate measurement of 160bpm!
• my midwives also gave me some good advice to take at least one moment in the day to dedicate to this baby and pregnancy. with life and Max demands, it's becoming easier to put this pregnancy on the back burner because there just isn't time. bad, because it is SO TRUE, and I'm glad somebody pointed it out to me. i don't have a specific time of day for this baby, but during quiet times I'm trying to put my hand on the belly and just internalizing this last  miracle growing inside
• finally i'm showing! going to work the maternity clothes to my comfort level this time around! i like the simple philosophies for OhJoy! in her videos, but i can't find fun stuff in Vancouver, nor can I find clothes I don't want to spend too much money on because I won't be wearing them again- especially now since Target closed. 

more updates to come!