As for me, emotionally i've been status quo. my quietest moments are just before Max wakes up in the morning and i used those times earlier in the week to reflect (pinterest really helped with quotes and linking to other experiences!). I also watched a tagalog chick flick and the sum of it all was a good cathartic cry; about decisions made, guilt, what ifs, and what could have been. During the day, I found great joy in being with Max and watching him play and have fun. Even though i lost one, i still have a healthy, happy, loving ONE that holistically gives me more than I could ever ask for. I am so thankful for him! Physically i had a great week with only light bleeding (I'm prepared to have a whopper period when the time comes). My HCG levels have gone from 1500 to 1100 to now 800 mIU/ml. My set back was yesterday, I was hospitalized (via 911) for excruciating pelvic pain and sacral pressure beyond tolerability. I gave birth naturally sans drugs and my body has a high pain tolerance level... i couldn't cope with yesterday's intense pain, i wanted and needed drugs! even though the results of yesterday's workup was inconclusive, the doctor gave me his personal cell phone number to contact him if i felt worse because he "just couldn't figure out what was wrong" and "thought about my case a lot because [he] was worried." Ive also been referred to some BC Women's Hospital program, thank you Canada for cultivating such fantastic physicians and for having accessible health care!
(update: the pain was from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy!)
On a lighter note, here are some pics of Max and I's date the day after my miscarriage. Just Max and I (he's finally tall enough!), no line ups, perfect weather, laughs, junk food, and fun. Just so thankful!
^^ i just love it when it's not extremely busy! ^^
^^ the only thing Max was scared of this day was the blue pipe they used to measure height ^^
^^ natural sailor!! ^^
^^ it's so true that as you get older, the less one is able to tolerate rides. just looking at this ride already gave me motion sickness! in fact, even a simple playground swing makes me nauseated lol when i was younger, i remember going on any and all rides without any after effects. ^^
^^ he said this ride was "too rough" ^^
^^ his most favourite ride ever! as you can see we went on all the colours and didn't even have to get off. did i mention how much i love play land because there were no line ups? sweet! ^^
It's August 18th! where does the time go?!
Hope you're having a great summer.