Friday, August 22, 2014

Ectopic Update

So it has been confirmed that my entire ectopic experience has been an unusual one. from the looks of the ultrasound my fallopian tubes let go/got rid of/randomly or purposefully expelled out my pregnancy. i have this 9x6cm mass in the cul de sac of my uterus actively growing fetal cells even though there is no viable pregnancy. my HCG levels are increasing instead of decreasing, and I'm in and out of BC Bio Med, ultrasounds, and clinics almost on a daily basis. i had the option of having surgery (fast answers, but lots of risks), or methotrexate (slower but body integrity maintained), and i chose the methotrexate. Im usually someone who wants things done fast, sooner than later, done right and right the first time etc (like a true Virgo), but now as a patient who's trying to take my nursing hat off, making decisions are harder than i thought and I'm constantly Dr. Googling pros, cons, evidenced and anecdotal based results. I've read some literature that sometimes surgery doesn't 100% work, and methotrexate still needs to be given- I would totally rather have drugs before surgery, than surgery then drugs (in a not so close comparison, would you rather get the flu then have surgery or have surgery and then catch the flu during your recovery period?).  if it turns out that Methotrexate doesn't work, then my only option is surgery...and i feel comfortable knowing that i've exhausted my options and the decision has been made for me.

so today is day 1 of my intramuscular methotrexate injection. neither the serum or the needle hurt thank goodness! I'm feeling a little tired and a little nauseated, we'll see what the next few days hold. Im aiming to curb the symptoms with some psychosomatic pep talks...aka I think I'm invincible unless otherwise (good luck with that!). i lucked out with a lovely ER nurse who's been nursing more than i've been alive. during this hospital experience, I've also discovered that the staff knowing you're a nurse is a mix of 50 disadvantage 50 advantange. Maybe it's just my interpretation of the situation? The worst experiences I've had is when it feels like you're left to fend for yourself because you know what to do, how it works, what to ask when to ask, which when full of vitality i absolutely can and happily will, but when you're unwell and feeling vulnerable i can barely advocate for myself and here is when i need my nurse because I'm a patient. i hate that substandard nursing care exists especially outside of external factors such as increased acuity of the unit, poor staffing and poor skill mix.  on the other side, i've also experienced nurses that have worked with me as a patient, kept me informed with matter of fact information (whether invited or not), gave me bloodwork results and discussed them with me, and totally treated me like part of the team...awesome nursing care, and I'm inspired.

More updates to come as they happen.


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