Friday, March 15, 2013

Right and Wrong. Wakeup Parent!

We've been taking Max to Strong Start oh for about 2 months now and yes, for the majority of the time he is there things are well, he is thriving, and having a lot of f-u-n! When Gene tells me how their school days go, there are always stories that include unruly kids who are CRAZY  need a time out and it makes me laugh. However, more often than not Gene tells me about kids who have picked on Max and this just makes me want to blow a gasket!

Ok, so kids will be kids and kids of the 0-5 age don't always know any better. I never hold it against the child per say, but i honestly feel a surge of heat and visualize an act of verbal assaults (directed at the parent) when i see/hear the parents are either absent (too busy gossiping with other parents), just let things go without telling the kid what they're doing is right or wrong and thus not correct them, or just present physically but too busy on their mobiles to even know WTF is happening. 
  • mom is too busy chatting with her people and thus too busy to notice that her crazy son is terrorizing other kids (kicking toys, tackling other kids, running around like a mad person and creating hazards for the already over populated room)
  • the one f'n toy that Max is playing with, a kid rips it out of his hand and takes off (mom does nothing) - this happens one too many times 
  • Max (13 months) is in the way of a kid (over 2 y/o) who wants to pass him, so the kid slaps Max on the chest or pushes him out of the way
  • Max is playing and having fun walking around, so a kid gets a pillow and shoves him "gently" to the ground
My blood is boiling. Max is one of the smaller and younger kids in the group, he is definitely vulnerable. What does Gene do when he sees these things? Fortunately, he's more in a state of calmness and will talk gently to the kid (or at least this is the story I get). When I see these things, I also say something in the realms of "be careful, he's a baby" or "Dont ________," sometimes the parent/guardian is present and right then and there we 2 adults 2 kids talk and settle. Again, other times....ARGH, i just end up giving the mom the evil eye as they're doing NOTHING. I cant believe the makings of a bully (and even the presence of bullies) start at these tender ages! 

What should I do with these parents when they're not to be found? Im really inclined to say something snarky and condescending when i see trends in behavior and lack of parenting follow up. There really isnt a relationship with these women that i would be sorry to lose, but the peace keeper that i am i just dont want to start stuff up! I just want to protect my child, prevent my son from learning/adopting such behavior, and prevent these kids from becoming news headlines in the future!

When I See Parents Not Paying Attention To Their Misbehaving Kid(s)


  1. This is why we ended up not going to Strong Start, and also why we don't often go to the Y for their Family Time (despite having a membership), and why we don't usually go to the Roundhouse gym time.

    I have decided I'm a bit of a mommy bear and a judgey b*tch, and I cannot tolerate having my child associate with parents who are too busy on their phone and sipping their Starbucks to bother watching their kid or teaching them to share.

    If the kid is out of control and the parent doesn't care to engage in their kid's learning, this is problematic to me. I think their kid is going to turn out rotten like their parents (apples and trees, they always say), so I figure it's best for us to not associate with "those types."

    We are thinking of enrolling Little L in a Montessori parent-and-tot class that runs once/week. Also, maybe some classes at the Roundhouse where parent participation is mandatory and the time is structured and supervised carefully.

    But yeah, these "open" and free programs tend to draw out a lot of deadbeats. Sorry your adorable little guy is having these problems :(

  2. These kind of situations happen for sure and they will keep happening no matter what kind of program your kid is in. Free, paid, one age group, mixed aged groups. Private school. Public school. I know that sounds harsh but it has been my experience with both Ben and Josie and also observing all of the other children when we attend various programs. Especially more so when you do mix ages like you talked about and add the parents who are taking a break. Yikes!

    Some of it is really just natural learning and also occurs between siblings. Like the toy snatching or being a bit too rough with the younger one. I'm wondering, where is the leader of this group? If the parents are too much on the side lines than maybe it is time to either have Gene say something or write an email about your concerns. Sometimes parents need to be reminded to be more vigilant about how their child is effecting another child, especially a younger one and the leader of the group can facilitate that for sure.


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