my brain is getting rest!
Tonight will be night 6 of having moved out of Max's room back into my room and bed!
Bottom line, Max is a restless sleeper- thrashing, talking, slamming legs down on mattress, rolling, crying, making all sorts of noises. From newborn to 2 months, Max slept with us in the master bedroom in his bassinet. Then we moved him into his crib and I followed in the spare bed in his room. It's been such a roller coaster ride of trials related to sleep in the last 6 months (see beefs about it from "sleep" labels on the blog). Essentially, it's been about 6.5 months of lack of restful sleeps for me. It took it's toll when i had a really bad night and i felt guilty about taking it out on husband (anything he did wrong really just set me off and it wasn't fair for him).
The first night of having moved out i slept from 3am-7am because i was nervous about leaving him in his room alone, i missed him, i missed the site of him, the way he would search for me in the dark if he was upset, opportunities i may be missing to bed share, and of course that i may sleep too deep that i may not be able to hear him. But i've realized that even in the deepest sleep, i continue to have bionic ears and I am able to promptly get up and respond to his issues. As for Max, he slept well that night and continues to sleep fine (he fed/feeds twice overnight).
There are so many reasons that i've come to realize as to why i was having such crappy sleeps:
- i heard every rustling he did and would wake up from it (small room)
- i would respond too quickly to his rustling that it didn't give him the opportunity to soothe himself to sleep- again, because i was too close and i wanted a fast solution (feed then sleep)
- when he sees me, even my silhouette, that would rouse him just enough to decide that i was going to save the night. so 9/10 times i had to...multiple times
- before we used to bed share after his last wakeup before official wakeup. but i was getting into the habit of bed-sharing after the 2nd wakeup (because i knew this practice extended his sleeps more than 3 hours, and i wanted sleep). some nights he went to sleep right away, but other nights he thought this was fun and decided he would exercise all his new learned skills right beside me at 2, 3, 4am
- because i was so roused from His restlessness, thoughts, ideas, stupid radio songs started flooding into my mind that i had difficulty going back to sleep while he slept..and when i finally did fall back asleep, he would wake up within a short amount of time for another round
- bed sharing turned into kicking, arm whacks in the face, talking to me, laughing, eating pillows etc hehe
- as for Max, i think he was having poor sleeps because my presence was stimulating him
- i sleep at 1030pm as per usual
- Max wakes up twice over night to feed, im happy, he's happy
- i get deep sleeps, and can go back to sleep right away even after getting up as my room is QUIET
- i'm sure Max is making the same restless sounds but i dont hear it and he appears to be sleeping thoroughly
- I hear the first loud whimper and then i get up. I can even tell the difference between the "i'm sleepy whimper" - which i dont get up. and the "i need something" whimper which i get up and feed for a few minutes and he goes back to bed
- if Max gets up at 6 and it sounds like the "im going to play" sounds, i move back into the bedroom and either feed or pacifier and we bed share until wakeup time (despite it's inconsistency, i really love bedsharing with him. he has to touch me to sleep, i touch him. sometimes im holding his hand, and other times i can just look at him and giggle to myself as i witness his sleep mannerisms i LOVE IT)
- ive decided that im not going to insist on him waking up at 720ish anymore, when he wakes up i wake up and we just have a later first nap. usually it's within the same hour window anyways
- i feel groggy but so well rested in the morning
- no longer snapping at husband as fast or as often
- i dont have a monitor so our doors are cracked open, the only thing bothering me is that Moe the cat might walk in and start meowing and waking up Max (another stimulant). but so far so good, thank goodness i dont have a nocturnal cat!
- it's been really hot in Vancouver lately so i do have the fan on. I wonder if Max is sleeping because of the white noise from the fan...hmmm...i'd have to play around with that
I'm getting sleep! Max is sleeping! Let the party begin!