Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Denial


So my period is late by a good ol' 1 day! LOL and I have been contemplating on my next move if this day ever came.  For most that know me well, i'm pretty frugal aka cheap, and the thought of spending $20 or so on a home pregnancy test was really something I wasn't planning on doing EVER!   I've been watching my body this last week or so, watching and waiting for symptoms of AF (aunt Flo, aka period) like spotting or just pink in the toilet paper (TMI I know), and nothing has shown up these last couple of days.  Per my previous post, I was having random gag/wretching moments which was totally out of character for me, but I rationalized those symptoms with my body finally returning to normal.

So today after my boring "Tips from a Coroner" course (really not as exciting as it sounds), I headed to a walk in clinic on Davie St. - "it'll be about a 3.5 hour wait."  WTF?  It was so sunny out, and there were 4 people in the waiting room, and 3.5hr wait..again...WTF?  I went shopping. 

On my way home, I decided to go to another walk in clinic on Comm. and 10th, and there, with 4 people in the waiting area, "it'll be a 1.5 hour wait."  WTF?! ok.  So I decided to go to another walk in clinic more closer to the Broad and Comm. intersection and there, a decent "20 minute wait."  I slipped a white lie to the female doctor and told her that I took a home pregnancy test and it was very vague, "not light, but not dark."  And would like to take a "pregnancy test to rule it out or confirm."  I think if you've seen those pregnancy tests before, you'd know what I mean.  How conclusive are those things anyways?  It says 99% but I really distrust it!  She asked me to give her a urine sample, and the receptionist dipped the stick for her.

A very solid argument was going through my mind, "if you were negative, that's ok, your period will come anytime now and you can try again." and "if you're positive, this isn't a joke, holy shit!"  LOL!  I was also thinking about all the symptoms I was having, or lack of, and that could really be explained by either argument.  I was content.  The Doctor came in after, the longest 3-5 minutes of my life!  She said, "well congratulations, you're positive!"  I felt a sudden surge of heat in my face and head.  "I'm shocked."  She asked if we were trying to get pregnant, and I said, "not really, but if it happened we would be very happy."  It's kind of a lie, but in hindsight, I can see that as a statement of emotional protection.   So she told me to take some prenatal vitamins, and make an appt. with my GP.

I don't know about this.  I'm in a state of glee, caution, and denial.  I really need some serum bloodwork to prove this!  I honestly tell myself that she left that stick developing for too long and that's why it's dark as it is.  I didn't mention that to her, but she said she was absolutely sure I was positively with child.  YOWZERS!!  She asked me when the first date of my last period was and I said "April 19th," after calculating it on her wheel, she said I was 4 weeks pregnant exactly today,

WHAT THE HECK?!  OMG!!!

My GP is annoyingly fully booked this week so I will see her next week.  UGH!  I wonder if I should go to a walk in tomorrow and get some bloodwork done?  I'm so happy but also can't believe it!

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